10-6-17 Anniversaries

Today is a bittersweet anniversary day. Seven years ago today a friend and companion from my teenage years passed away suddenly. In fact I didn't even know about it until last year. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in years. The last words that I did speak to her while she was still living were cold and harsh. She was also the mother of my only child. Some things in life are meant to be and others are not. For years I carried guilt and remorse about how and why our relationship ended the way that it did. I thought that if I had been a better more loving more kinder and caring and honest person that things between us would have been different. I've come to realize that we were meant to be friends and that God's plan was for us to conceive a child and he gave us that very special gift to love. I've also come to realize and accept that we were not meant to be a together loving family at that time. God had other plans for our lives. Charlene would grow from a teenager to a kind and loving mother. She married and they had a child and a family group was formed. For me it would be a long road filled with many lessons to be learned before I would be worthy of  considering myself as a real father. Today I look back and honor Charlene's life for the kind and loving mother and person  that she was. I see her kindness, joy, and happiness when I look at my daughter. I thank God for giving me the opportunity to know her and have her as a friend. I also thank him for the precious gift of our daughter and for leading me to a time in my life when I can finally be a real Dad to her and Grandfather to her sons. I know today that Charlene is happy and at peace in her eternal home with our Heavenly Father. I look forward to seeing her again some day and being able to talk to her in person again.

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