7-31-20 My True Father
My True Father :: By Candy Austin
2 Corinthians 6:18 – “And I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty.”
There have been three personal ‘Father Experiences’ I have had throughout my time here on Earth, not including both of my grandfathers whom I did not get to see very much growing up.
The first one was in my being born to a deaf dad whom I will always care for. Unfortunately, he is also a man who has hurt me in ways I will never be able to fully convey in this life. Growing up as a child with him was like existing with a ‘Ticking Time Bomb.’
Momma, Sister, and I learned to ‘Walk on Eggshells’ because we never knew if something we said or did would set him off! From a child’s perspective, it was like living with the Incredible Hulk (Fierce Mode), Michael Myers (Halloween Terror Movie), and Chewbacca (Loud Incoherent Voice).
On a good day he was Chewbacca, but most of the time he was either The Hulk or Michael Myers, terrorizing us with his incoherent screaming while hitting, kicking, and throwing things at us… especially Momma, out of nowhere! Deaf Dad hardly if ever said, “I Love You, I am Proud of You, or You are Pretty.”
You know… things that little girls want to hear from their dads. Instead I got, “You are fat; next time make an A instead of a B; and I don’t like your hairstyle.” Ultimately, criticism after criticism, mainly about my appearance. Sister got the same lack of love and personal criticism as well. More importantly, he never said or did anything loving or kind to Momma either.
Growing up, I always felt like Deaf Dad was mad at me… and, for the most part, he always was. Irate at me, at all 3 of us, at pets, at everybody, at everything; pretty much the entire world.
He used his deafness as a ‘crutch’ and virtually acted like ‘everybody owed him something’ because he was deaf. Sadly, Deaf Dad was a very angry, violent, abusive, merciless, and cruel man. To this day, I continue to choose to Forgive him and Pray for him. This is the best ending I can give concerning this ‘Father Figure.’
Excerpt from: Momjunction.com: “How to Be a Good Father”
9 Qualities of a Good Father:
- He is Protective.
- Affection is his middle name.
- A wall of trust and security
- The source of encouragement
- Has the patience to listen
- Provides the necessities of life
- Respects the mother of his children
- Spending time with him is fun for the kids.
- He is the best teacher. – Source
1 John 3:1 – “Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.”
The second experience I had in my life was in watching how my husband Doug Fathered our two girls. Seeing how I made sure to marry someone the ‘complete opposite’ of my deaf dad, my husband, therefore, was a Sweet, Kind, Loving, and Funny ‘Daddy.’
I will never forget how he could not wait for each of our babies to be born, how he always made sure I took my prenatal vitamins, and would talk to our girls in my tummy to make them move so he could see and feel them too.
After they were born, Daddy Doug would pick them up and fly their chubby little bodies around like airplanes, and he would hold them under their chin and stomach to contract and shoot them like they were human baby shotguns. Daddy Doug would often play ‘ventriloquist’ and make our babies’ bottom lip move with his finger so they could “talk” and say funny statements to make me laugh.
Some of the most hilarious experiences were when Doug would line up their stuffed animals and dolls on the back of the couch so he could shoot them down with a rubber-band gun one by one! Our girls always giggled and laughed at amusing stuff like that!
Watching Doug be such a ‘Nice Daddy’ was truly a blessing because I got to live vicariously through our girls with all the loving and fun experiences they had with him. He worked hard to give our girls a life that neither Doug nor I had growing up.
Our girls were blessed with things we could only have wished to have had as kids ourselves. Doug came from a poor family, and his parents divorced when he was young, so he did not experience ‘Family Vacations.’ We are grateful that our family was blessed with countless vacation memories with our girls.
Another blessing was in the opportunity for our girls to be involved in Ballet. As a kid, I always wished I could have taken Ballet classes but my parents did not want to spend money on things like that for me.
Even though we were not wealthy, Doug and I made sure our girls had those kinds of experiences. Throughout their teen years, they were also fortunate to be involved in Sports, Cheerleading, and Various Extracurricular Activities like Debate and Choir.
More importantly, the Love, Kindness, Sweetness, and Wittiness of a Father is a familiarity I could only have dreamed of having. All I know is that I would have LOVED to have had a ‘Daddy’ like my husband Doug was to our girls.
John 10:30 – “I and my Father are one.”
To say that this is the ‘third experience’ I had would not suffice because Abba Father God was always there even when I did not know or see Him very well. I remember getting saved at 9 years old and would pray as a kid to a ‘Vast, Expansive, and Colossal God’ I knew was out there somewhere.
As a teenager, I always thought of God as a ‘Distant Angry King’ who was always mad at me because I was involved in a lot of sinful things. I remember I would pray before going to sleep after a wild night out and profusely beg God over and over to please forgive me, because I just knew for sure that He was livid with me.
During my adult years, our family made a point to attend church, and I would make sure to pray often; but I was not really that strong in the Lord. I remember only reading my Bible on occasion, maybe a couple of times a month.
At least one of my kids says they remember seeing me read the Bible, even if it was only on occasion. It was not until our oldest became a Prodigal that I really began to dive into the Word of God. When I saw how easy it was for loved ones to forsake us, I quickly learned that the only person I can truly Trust is Abba Father God!
Abba Father allows adversity and trials in our lives to 1) Strengthen our Faith, 2) Bring us Closer to Him, and 3) Ultimately Work all Things Together for our Good and for His Glory. It was through the lowest points and worst times in my life that I began to see Abba Father God more clearly.
Abba showed me that when we thought things were doomed when my husband lost his job, our Father would uphold us with His Righteous Right Hand by giving Doug another job within two weeks! Even when the storms were raging all around me, Abba was right there with me, steadying and comforting me with His Word. God’s Word is a Healing Balm like no other!
The ‘Blessing in Disguise’ is in finally diving into God’s Word because of the Adversity that was allowed to happen in our lives. What I learned is that Jesus is a Friend that sticks closer than a sibling, He is someone who will Never Leave us or Forsake us. He is the only One who Loves us with an Everlasting Love. Ultimately, Abba Father is a Heavenly Father like no other! An ‘Indescribable Daddy’ who is out of this World, beyond anything we can ask, think, or imagine!
Even the Best Daddy on the planet like my husband cannot hold a candle to Abba Father God! Thank You, Abba, for being my True Father! In Jesus Christ’s Name, Amen!
Matthew 23:9 – “And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.”
Until Next Time… Maranatha!
Jesus = Way, Truth, Life
*Ambassador For Christ in All I Do
*YouTube channel: All For Christ (Sign language/Voice Ministry)
*Instagram: ambassadorforchrist07
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