8-7-17 No Time

I thought when I retired that I would have all the time in the world to do what I wanted to. I discovered that Shirley wasn't able or didn't want to do those things anymore So I said what the hell and went back to work. I figured that I might as well get paid for doing nothing so that at least my time wasn't a total waste. Today I started to think how do I really spend my day? I'm up at 6 am the dogs are really to go out and then have breakfast. Then I fix Shirley's breakfast and then I have 30 minutes to take care of my personal needs for the day. Then it starts. There's household chores to do,earrings to run,appointments to keep. Some days I eat breakfast in between other days I don't. Then it's time to get lunch out of the way and then I'm off for work at 1 pm. I'm at work until 10:30 pm I'm home by 11 pm and in the bed by 11:30- 12:00. If Shirley and the dogs have a good night then I usually do too if not then we all suffer together. Out of a 24 hour day I spend probably 30-45 minutes of quality time with my wife. I spend probably 1-2 hours taking care of the dogs. I have ZERO time for myself. It's no damn wonder I'm depressed so much of the time. I probably spend maybe an hour a day really communicating with other human beings. My therapist says that I need to find things to be grounded in. Things that make life worthwhile and tolerable. My problem is the same things that ground me some days irritate the hell out of me other days. How would I really spend my days if I could? I don't have a clue. The hardest thing about being locked up on the nut ward was all of the external stimuli is taken away and you have to amuse yourself. You have to make the hours tick by. I would like to have just a little time for myself. Is that too much to hope or ask for?  

Comments

Mark Siepak said…
Download TED talks for at work. Virtually any subject, varying lemgths...most are very good! I have the same thing, dogs, cats out and fed, get lunch ready, shower. At Work: TOO MUCH interaction with stupid people! Wife in bed knitting or reading, I watch tv with the cats and go to bed at 2. She won't watch what I like, and vice versa. We sit from 9-10 am and drink coffee and watch the weather channel.
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