8-12-17 Open Letter to God

Well, here we are again. I cursed at you yesterday. It wasn't the first time and it probably won't be the last. But you already know that you already know everything.You still haven't answered my question. I have done your will from time to time. Sometimes freely sometimes reluctantly.You gave me free will to live as I see fit and I have.I know some of it has been a disappointment to you well it has been to me also.I was your erring boy and I delivered your two-minute warning to Marshall. And you made good on it and took him without any other warning.I know that you are a being that keeps his word. That warning included me also so what's up with that. I guess you're determined to be the one to pull the switch. So why keep tormenting me in the mean time. You have the power to give control of my mind back. So why don't you? Are you too busy to be bothered? Grant it you've got a lot on your plate.  If I were you I would pulled the switch on it all a long time ago. I remember back in 1978 lying in a hospital bed I had just thrown a water pitcher at my mom telling her to get hell out of my room. My soul cried out to you probably for the first time in my life I asked for help. For just one fleeting second you let me feel what eternity with you feels like. Then you pulled it away. Damn, that was cruel. From that time on I've longed for that feeling again but you refuse to give it to me. Can you understand why I'm angry with you?  And then you allow my own mind try its best to destroy me.  I don't understand your thought process. Maybe you will send me some more clues. We'll see.

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