8-5-17 To Serve

Tomorrow I have the opportunity to be a Bishop and Priest again. I haven't really been much of either one in a long time. Organized religion just doesn't speak to my soul like it used too. I remember seminary days. I was my teacher's worst nightmare. I questioned everything nothing was an absolute to me and it's still that way. When I became a priest  I became my Bishop's worst nightmare as I questioned his authority. I learned over time in order to function as a clergy you needed to at least accept at face value the principles that you have been taught. There were plenty of dogmas that I didn't agree with but I had accepted the responsibility to live and teach by it.I was teaching and ministering the best that I knew how according to what I had been taught. Most clergies are really trying to serve God to the best of their knowledge and abilities. After I was elected to serve as a Bishop and later Archbishop the ministry took on a different perspective and I understood how much accountability I had to God and to the church.I realized that to serve in that capacity you needed to have absolute faith in God and in the Church and in yourself. I questioned the church and myself to the point where I was an ineffective leader and shepherd to the flock so I retired my position. You can retire from being active in the church but you can never retire from the vowels and oaths that you took before God to serve God. One day I will have to answer before my creator and there won't be any justifications or excuses that I can offer in my defense. I can only hope that the shed blood of his only son will cover and redeem me for my sins and shortcomings and unfaithful service.        

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