7-30-17 Promises Made are Promises Broken

Your words of steel still echo in my memory

You said goodbye and broke this heart inside of me
Teardrops fell like hours to eternity
The room was silent as some forgotten melody
Your words of steel still echo in my memory

Promises made, promises broken
Promises made, promises broken

I thought we had a chance to really make it last
Now the future looks to me like some unwelcome guest
I'll be alright as soon as I get over you
But this time it won't be such an easy thing to do

Promises made are promises broken
Promises made always cause pain
Promises made are promises broken
Promises made, promises broken

Caught up in the sorrow, tangled in dreams
Ooh, in the lonely hours, the silence screams
And in the heart of the darkness, I break down
I feel the spirit of you all around

Promises made are promises broken
Promises made always cause pain
Promises made, promises broken
Promises made always cause pain
Promises made are promises broken
Promises made, promises broken

 1987 Tiffany
This would become one of my favorite songs. Even in an alcohol induced semi-conscious state, I could still feel the lyrics and the pain. I think sometimes that I enjoyed the pain after all even pain is better than nothing. I still like the song as it has to mean and has become a distant part of past lost chances and lovers. I guess that's what bittersweet love is all about. Still, I wonder if what could have been would have been any better than what became and is now. So many promises made and so many promises broken. At what point do you ever regain trust in anyone or anything? Faith, Trust, and Hope seem like empty concepts, words on a page with no meaning. I've been no better I've broken countless promises to many people some of which I hurt badly. The promises I made to myself and broke those hurt even more. Others have forgiven me but I still hold myself in contempt and shame and sometimes even hatred. Self-love has to be earned it doesn't come naturally for me. It's a daily struggle to love myself as I see so many internal things that I hate. It's a slow process and I don't have a lot of patience with myself. So many things to fix and 3/4 of my life has already passed.I guess what the end product will look like is still unknown.

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